My Solitude

I am a person that truly believes that everything happens for a reason, so let this be a lesson unto me, that whosoever be a burden or cause havoc in my life, I shall not curse them, for they are the ones that I shall thank for making me strong enough to receive my blessing....

...shambles...

I feel like my life is in total and complete shambles...

I feel like I have no one to turn to that will hold me close and tell me that everything is gonna be okay.

I feel like I have no shoulder to break down and cry on

So I just bow my head in shame while the tears race each other down my pale face.

I feel like the one who was supposed to be... never was

And the one that never was... actually is.

I feel like the world was always against me

But I know that I was always against myself

I feel like I cant breathe, my heart is racing, but I cant take in air.

I feel like I'm in this by myself because circumstances make me think that people aren't supposed to care.

They never did, they never do, and they never will...

Unless my body, or somebody is cold and lying still, then they will

I feel like ... I feel... I... ...

I cant even feel any more...

Didn't Almost Not

Cry, Cry, Cry, Cry, Cry...
Its the story of my life.
I'm such an emotional girl
Here it comes again
My chest feels tight....
***just wait***
***okay continue***
I feel neglected
My heart has such a yearning
Like nobody really cares
I want the love I never had
Hold on my eyes are burning
***just wait***
***okay continue***
Secret thoughts behind closed eyes
Memories I'll never forget
Hugs and kisses
Re envisioned
Hold on my face is wet
***I cant wait***
***I wont Continue***
I cant wait for someone to come sweep me of my feet
Take me to a paradise
Because we've painted the world as hell
All the drugs that we sell
Deal, Use, Get high
Yea getting high makes me feel so right
But I'm still on the ground running
From my enemies but mostly from myself
I cant continue to do the things I've done
Expecting to get something greater
Greater Love
Greater Happiness
I haven't even tried...
That's why I cry, cry, cry, cry, cry
I give so much
All my heart and all my love
Treat everyone better than myself
Then wonder why I got the hand I was dealt.
Some one told my I didn't love my self...
Maybe its true...

In His Arms

When I was a child, I had a safe heaven. It was perfect. It was security. It was comfort.

When I was a child, my dad used to beat me... sometimes really bad. I would run upstairs and climb into my grandma's bed and hope that she could protect me, but even at the tender young age of 7, I knew that the only person who could really protect me was God. After I had gotten beat, or when I was really sad, I would go into the spare room in my grandma's house. I called it "The Holy Room." There was a bed, laying sideways against 2 windows. The tall dresser served as the make shift alter. On top there was a fancy china plate with the Virgin Mary painted on it, there was a crucifixion cross, and a white candle was continuously burning. My grandmother also had a small radio that played the christian station (94.7 Family Radio -thanks Kenneth for reminding me-) 24/7/365 (366 in a leap year). This was my safe heaven.

I would lay as close to the window as possible, looking as hard as I could to see at least one star in the bright sky. The flood light next to my window didn't help, but I still tried. After a while, I would say my prayers, just like my grandma taught me (an "Our Father", followed by thanking God for EVERYTHING, then asking for forgiveness for all the wrong things I've done. Then I would ask the lord to bless all the people I knew, I would ask God to fix me and make me a better child, and finally I'd wrap it up with 'In my little bed I lie..."

When my prayers were finally done, I would close my eyes real tight and imagine I was a tiny baby, floating high in the sky, above the clouds, looking down at the stars. I would imagine that God was holding me in his arms, rocking me to sleep, wiping away my tears, and letting me know that everything was going to be okay. If I tried hard enough, I could actually feel myself being rocked back and forth. I felt at peace. I still do it to this day, and it always makes me feel better...

You should try it.

For What Its Worth

Long distance relationships never really work out in the end. I've heard this many times from a lot of people, and have actually went through that same emotional roller coaster a few times myself. It seems that at one time or another in my life I've had to because I travel so much. I constantly ask myself, why am I doing this to myself. Always wondering where he is, why he didn't answer his phone, and how come he's out so late... If I'm stressing this hard and he doesn't appreciate it, work on it, or even put in half the effort that I'm giving, then what is it worth?


"My fingers are numb, my arms are tired, and my heart is weak... Maybe I'm just holding on too tight for all the wrong reasons. Its not like you're helping me up, as long as I'm not actually falling you think its okay because "I got it" but when are you gonna "have" me... Maybe I'm tired of holding on... for all the wrong reasons." - TeLLiey*

ATTN: All Artists, DJ's, Models... Need a Publicist?

Diana Wilson Public Relations is looking for new clientele. We work with artist and inventors who already have a product i.e-book, record, modeling career that needs exposure, or a new invention. Our job will be to get you greater media exposure, be it online through blogs, or writing to editors.... It all depends on what you do. Our research will let us know what direction to go as far as exposure.

I know you all have friends who have friends who have friends who are into one thing or another, but if you (or they) are serious, this could be the first step into the lime light.

You may want to work with us because:

1. You have work or family commitments, you can't devote the time to create and manage a major publicity campaign.

2. You work for yourself, but running your business entails hundreds of other tasks that leave time for little else.

3. You're an author who's on a book tour, or you're busy working on your next book and don't have time to devote to a publicity campaign.

4. You're an author whose contract with your publisher has expired, you can no longer work with their publicist, and you're on your own.

5. You are aware that your publisher is handling many books at the same time and you know it's important to have a publicist unrelated to the publisher working directly with you from the beginning.

6. You have a job such as a consulting practice, and your time is better spent making money on client projects than it is doing your own publicity.

7. You don't have the right kinds of media contacts.

8. You're familiar with the basics of how to get local publicity, but you want to take your campaign to the national level and don't know how.

9. You want publicity in a certain part of the country and you would prefer to work with a professional who has strong media contacts within that region or state.

10. You're trying to get in front of people within a particular industry but don't know the best ways to reach them.

11. Even though you feel comfortable interviewing with the media, you don't like the thought of calling reporters and editors on the phone and asking them to cover your story. (More about this in a minute.)

12. You're doing most of your own publicity yourself. But there's one aspect of it that you don't know how to do or don't want to do, such as setting up an online media room. A publicist can help fill in the gaps by doing small-project work.

13. You're already a successful Publicity Hound who is writing articles, doing radio interviews and appearing on TV shows. You're so busy being in the media spotlight that you need someone behind the scenes who can keep you on track and focused. As your publicist I will work several steps ahead of you, lining up interviews for next week and beyond.


I can answer most of your questions and address any concerns. Feel free to contact me via e-mail at telliey@yahoo.com or AIM - telliey

Spread the word, thanks for reading
Chantel Williamson
Public Relations Assistant



Take The Next Step

Murphy's Place

Thursday night was another venture on the Dallas club scene. We went to Murphy's. Being from Brooklyn, I'm accustomed to a certain type of party, but it wasn't a flop as I had originally thought it would be. I've noticed that in TX most of the clubs are small restaurant/bar type clubs. They're bigger than Universal Resorts, in Brooklyn, NY, which is a small club in East Flatbush knows for 'hood' parties. In TX there is a higher level of class. The girls out here are real girly girls. Although the music wasn't my taste (example: "Walk with a dip", "Ice Cream Paint Job", and "Mr. Hit That Hoe") it was fun.The DJ played a little bit of everything so I got a chance to get my reggae on. He wasn't Funk Master Flex though. All in all it was a good experience. I would recommend this spot for after work hang outs or for someone who just wants to go out and have a nice time with out having to spent 10-15 minutes at a time just trying to get accross the room. Good DJ... expensive drinks.